I go to sit and my thoughts follow.
I try to focus.
I reach inside for a Native American prayer I have memorized:
Oh Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the wind
and whose breath gives life to all the world,
hear me. I am small and weak,
I need your strength and wisdom…
So many intrusive thoughts.
Thoughts about the past,
my hopes, fears, and dreams.
Who am I beyond the thoughts?
I try to recall another prayer,
this one from the Bhagavad Gita:
Those who seek the transcendental reality
beyond name and form,
beyond the reach of feeling and of thought
with senses subdued and mind serene
and striving for the good of all beings…
But how can I find what is beyond thought
when I am so enmeshed with thought?
but at least I know that these are thoughts,
not necessarily reality.
It is a good start,
and after almost four years,
I’m still at the beginning,
where I will always be.