Doorways to Self-Compassion

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Three doorways to self-compassion:

1) mindfulness
2) shared humanity
3 )self-kindness

When dealing with difficult emotions,
let yourself observe them,
see if you can name them,
sense them in your body.
This is mindfulness–
simply observing what is arising this moment
without judgment or analysis.
If you can then realize
that you are not alone,
that in this very moment
there are many others experiencing
the same kinds of difficult emotions as you,
then you have tuned into shared humanity,
this collective experience of uncertainty,
of ups and downs
joys and sorrows
that make up this life.
This experience of shared humanity
helps you to put your difficult emotions into perspective,
and you are no longer swallowed whole by them,
but you have some space to simply be with them.
Finally, you begin some gentle, deliberate,
and kind
self-soothing.
You might use a term of endearment
as you speak to yourself:
Poor darling, this is so hard for you right now!
You might put your hands over your heart,
or wrap your arms around yourself in a big hug.
You might speak reassuring words to yourself:
I know that you are hurting right now,
and I want you to know that I am here for you.
Let me know what you need to feel better,
and I will help you in any way that I can.
When you can practice
this consciously directed
concern and care for yourself
this is known as self-kindness.
Three doorways to self-compassion,
use any one you can.
Look for the door that is closest to you.
Step in.
Once you’re in, you’re in.
And in that place of compassion for yourself,
you realize the boundless nature of your heart.
You realize that you can hold the whole world
in this infinitely spacious tender heart.
You become a force of lovingkindness in this world,
this weary world that needs the love you have to give.

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2 responses »

    • We ALL have to continually work on self-compassion. It is a practice like any other practice…never finished, always learning. I’m glad that you’re aware of self-compassion–it lights the way for others to become aware. Love and light to you!

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