This Is It

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For the longest time
I thought I wanted peace,
quiet, ease, solitude,
all the free time in the world
to do whatever I wanted to do…
And of course these things are still nice,
but as time wears on
and I accept that life is just chaotic sometimes,
then I am neither surprised nor disappointed
when I find myself standing in the middle of chaos.
In this centered place of acceptance
I can look out into my life
with the eyes of love
and do good work
with the capable hands I’ve been given.
I don’t need to create problems
by complaining or feeling resentful
about the fact that things haven’t turned out
exactly the way I wanted them to…
I can stay open, be curious,
and with a clear mind observe what is.
Suddenly the moment opens up
into a far richer masterpiece of
color, texture, and sound
than I could’ve concocted
with my limited experience
and understanding of life.
I can laugh and dance with the chaos.
This is it.  I don’t need to fix it or change it.
I don’t need to be someone different.
I don’t need to achieve anything.
This is it.  This is my life.
I laugh at the freedom and space
that  an open mind creates.
I laugh because this experience
was within my grasp for my whole life
but it took me until now to realize it.
I laugh because the experience is mine now.
So simple, so unremarkable, so precious.

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