Strange Insomnia

Standard

I have been inflicted
with a strange insomnia of late…
suddenly at 4 I’m awake,
then I meditate.
I’d rather be asleep
but my body wakes me up,
mind spinning, spinning,
weighing every option,
projecting outcomes,
desperately seeking
solutions to every possible
problem that could arise
between here and kingdom come.
My meditation throws the busyness
of my mind into sharp relief,
and the thoughts keep coming,
so many every second.
Post meditation
I try to make the most
of this quiet time,
sipping green tea,
writing in my journal,
but by the time the kids are awake,
I’m ready to lay my head
upon my pillow
and succumb to the fatigue
that has burgeoned in my body
since I first opened my eyes.
Why is this happening?
I want sweet rest,
but apparently my body has
other plans for me.
It’s as if it says,
You’re not allowed to be unconscious.
Make the most of this time,
awaken your whole self–
we’ve got work to do.

How long will it go on like this?
Wish me luck…
deep restful sleep
would be pure bliss.

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