A Lot of Work to Do

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Working at the level of mind
can get very heady.
Being acutely aware of all thoughts,
challenging their truth,
seeing how they make me feel,
deciding which ones to share–
so much work it gets exhausting.
I sometimes wonder if there will come a time
when it gets easier,
when life seems a bit smoother
because my mind itself has smoothed out.
It takes great courage
to accept full responsibility for one’s experience.
Of course the alternative
would be living at the mercy
of everyone else’s stories.
It also takes great courage
to listen intently
especially when someone’s story
differs from your own.
I’m working on that one.
I still feel defensive, outraged,
put upon, misunderstood,
underappreciated,
and depressed sometimes.
Could there come a time
that I know my mind so well
that it can no longer make me suffer?
I have a lot of work to do.

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