I Remain

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My mind and body are so tired
and the idea of lying down so alluring
but something deeper in me wants to awaken
and so I remain.
I stay in my seat, sit up a little taller, breathe.
And again, that sensation of tiredness
swirls right in my belly
making me want to double over,
put my head down.
But this will in me,
it says
Don’t give up.
Stay in your seat.
I remain.
I keep checking the time.
When I refocus
my eyes begin to close
and my mind wanders off.
So tired.
I just want to sleep.
Why am I doing this anyway?
I want to awaken.
I stay in my seat.
I remain.

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8 responses »

  1. Beautiful! More than the shapes and movement, I find staying connected to my breath and present is the most challenging part of Yoga. It’s also the most deeply fulfilling. Stay in that seat, breathe into your center! Namaste!

      • I’m glad my name makes you laugh! It started off as a joke between friends. I constantly talk about my butt being too small, because all of my friends have big, beautiful butts. One day, I had to make a username for something and I popped that in. I couldn’t stop laughing about it, so from then on, I made it my username for everything. I like the fact that I write about a lot of serious and funny things, my name makes me think that people will get me – don’t take me too seriously, but I might know a thing or two 🙂 I’ve definitely been there. Yoga has been a missing piece of my soul, combined with meditation, it’s how I found me and my itchy butt!

      • Haha, awesome! Thanks for sharing your story. I love the absence of pretense, it’s very refreshing. How long have you been practicing yoga, and what form? And tell me about your meditation too! 🙂 ❤

      • I have done Yoga off and on since I was probably 15, to be honest. It’s something I always connect to deeply, but unfortunately, I’ve always allowed other problems/situations/bad behavior offset it/take it away. In October, I deeply committed to building my practice. I honestly just follow all sorts of routines that Adriene puts on YouTube, because I have really deeply connected with her as a teacher. The way she speaks of Yoga/your body makes so much sense to me. Right now, the biggest focus in her Yoga Revolution (it’s a 31 day series she started in January) is becoming your Yoga. I love that. Even when I don’t “Do” yoga, I see how I am doing Yoga – Different stretches, movements, etc. as I’m in the office chair, etc. are all incorporating my time on the mat into my time off the mat. I love inversions a lot. I find that balances and grounds me most – how about you??

        Ahhh… meditation. I started using guided meditation apps on my iPhone. I can give you some suggestions, if you’d like. Nowadays, I find soothing music (or metal!) and I guide myself. It works best if I do Yoga first, because I am the most connected, then I can slip into the meditation more easily. If I am struggling to stay present, I’ll go back to the guided meditation. I’ve found this one song on YouTube (I read an article that said it reduces anxiety by 65% is amazing to meditate to) https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=8&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiG2cvvoLXRAhXIJiYKHe3DDiYQtwIIQjAH&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DsYoqCJNPxv4&usg=AFQjCNHxEfZyDt-juGPplwnRuX7c8S1Afg&sig2=xvkoXAmduom41L4AJtANYA&bvm=bv.142059868,d.eWE

        How about you – do you meditate?

      • Wow, you are on a sacred journey! I’d love to check out the teacher you mentioned. And yes, I do meditate…my practice continues to shift, change and evolve…and it’s interesting to see this taking place gradually over more than five years of daily practice. And thanks for the link! I want to check the music out. ❤ 🙂 ❤

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