Category Archives: healing

One Little Life

Standard

The purpose of the Dark Night
is to better see the light of day
when dawn arrives
and we realize we are still living.
The hurt we feel
helps keep us real
for all others who are hurting.
And the steps we take to heal the hurt
give us the strength to show up
and convey the honest truth
to those who have forgotten.
In the fullness of time
the wounds heal
and reveal the delicate dance
of life balancing on the precipice
of sadness and joy.
Come to the balance point
and regard the potential for both,
inside, outside,
everywhere around you.
Trust that there are no mistakes
and allow the dance to inform
the deepest layers of your being.
Always in a space of becoming,
we are all dreamers, doers, thinkers,
lovers, artists, scoundrels
and precious fools
fumbling through this one little life.

Advertisements

Keep Digging

Standard

I discovered
that I can let Life surprise me.
When I realize I’m the Fool,
my mind is open to new learning.
When my heart is broken
I have a chance to see the light
shining from the million tiny pieces,
more beautiful than all the stars
in the darkest night sky.
Sometimes the deepest pain
holds an even deeper treasure.
May I trust
and keep digging.

Retreat Day 3: Soul Retrieval

Standard

Today we were asked
to think back to an experience
we lived when we were young,
something that affected us emotionally
and remained in our memories,
something that hurt us,
marked us, something
that was potentially holding us back
even today.
As we imagined ourselves
at that young age
we were also asked
to call our spirit guides in
to help with the healing.
We envisioned our guides
talking with the younger
version of ourselves,
soothing, calming,
protecting, reassuring,
supporting, being present.
I was moved
watching my younger self brighten.
She stopped crying;
she realized she didn’t have to try so hard.
She relaxed; she allowed herself to play.
What if a healing really did
take place today?
If I can suspend my doubts and fears,
maybe, just maybe,
I can feel the little girl in me
playing still, happy to just be alive.

Retreat Day 2: Journeying

Standard

We drove to a valley surrounded by beautiful, gentle mountains, a desert landscape, scrubby junipers, yellowing sycamores.  There was a creek  not far off from where we set up our circle of chairs and its soft chatter provided a melodious and comforting backdrop to the deep work we did.

The medicine woman spoke:

Prepare yourself for a journey
back home.
You will be sitting, breathing,
going within.
Searching for guidance,
we listened to the drum
sounding the heartbeat
of the Earth Mother.
Trust, go inside, listen.
Make contact with 
an animal spirit
and ask what its gifts are,
what you are meant 
to be activating in your own life.
After each journey
we would share our insights.
I found myself moved to tears
many times today.
Profoundly exhausted
I realized
that sometimes the most subtle journeys
are the most tiring,
asking for every ounce of will
even as they impart the most precious gifts.

In Phoenix

Standard

phoenix condo window

Phoenix, I’m here!
For one week
I left the familiar
to go on retreat,
to have an adventure.
I miss my kids already,
yet I know that this is good
for all of us.
After the heartache and tumult
of this past summer,
I longed for a different perspective,
a different experience of myself,
to be someone other than
the depressed woman
whose husband wants a divorce.
To achieve this  different perspective,
to create a different perception of myself,
a radical shift was necessary,
and here I am…
Flying 2000 miles away feels
pretty radical.
Tomorrow I’ll go to the desert in Sedona
and I’ll pray.
I practice yoga and dance.
I’ll rest.
I’ll thank God I’m here,
over and over again.
The depressed woman
didn’t follow me here.
The adventurer has taken her place,
and I can’t wait
to meet her.

True Grace

Standard

Adjusting to a new reality
and wanting to be graceful about it…
but watching myself
go kicking and screaming instead.
And then grateful
I can be this honest with myself.
Noticing I’m judging
when I want to be accepting,
I’m scared when I want to be brave
I’m avoiding when I want to be proactive.
And it hits me…
I don’t have to be good at this.
I can be the way I am
and show up for myself
with love and compassion.
A space opens up
where the resistance once lived.
Now true grace can be revealed.

The Truth of My Deepest Self

Standard

And then I realized
this suffering isn’t
some nuisance to be tolerated…
it’s an opportunity
to dive deep within myself
and learn something.
It’s a chance to trust
that what I’ve been given
is what I’m meant to have
(for now)
and as I shift inside
I’ll see the shifts on the outside too.
It’s a confrontation
with the old, outworn stories,
a chance to rewrite the narrative
into something deeper,
something more beautiful,
more meaningful than before.
And I turn to my higher power,
saying,
Let this be an initiation
into profound understanding.
Let this be a signpost
that I’ve moved into a territory
of authentic feeling.
Facing what arises,
loving what I cannot yet understand,
faithful that whatever brought me here
won’t leave me here to die…
Awakening to what is
and who I am,
seeing the truth of my deepest Self.