And like that, peace returns to my heart.
One could argue it never left,
but try to explain that
to a weary soul at 2:30 am
full of fear, heart bruised by loss.
But the dark night passed,
and the sun rose,
and the day marched on,
and I got done what needed to be done.
I was blessed by sleep and connection,
beloveds appearing with smiles,
open minds, open hearts,
and the desire to really, truly help.
Yes, the peace never left but in my mind.
It sure is wonderful to discover
peace was there all along.
How about when you finally
take a stand for the truth inside yourself?
When you decide that you’d rather spread joy
than bring pain,
and you’d live as the being you are
rather than the person someone told you
you should be…
how does that feel?
Could you drop the old beliefs
as gracefully as a tree lets go of leaves
and make room for your heart’s desires?
Tree, could you draw your sap
all the way inside to center,
look deeper, and ask for a revelation?
As you stand cold and naked in the darkness,
waiting for the light and warmth
of the rebirth,
What were the seeds you sowed,
and how was your harvest?
Which seeds have you saved
for the plantings in the spring?
And can you turn inwards now fearlessly,
embracing the self that remains
when the old, dry and useless fall away?
I keep expecting more from myself;
it seems I am not evolved enough.
Then I end up feeling disappointed.
What if there were another way?
What if I could look at myself
and apply the balm of compassion?
What if I could accept my shortcomings
and invite myself to make small shifts
according to what is realistic
in this day to day adventure of life?
What sounds better—
And what will lead to a better outcome
for myself, my family, my community,
Which choice will empower me
to look upon others with love,
understanding, patience, compassion?
It seems obvious now, doesn’t it?
why dost thou elude me?
Why, when I need you the most,
do you seem to be in such short supply?
that’s how it is.
While learning how to be patient with life,
you need to be patient with yourself.
Patience with Self
is a sure sign that you’re ready
to be patient with others.
and all beings–
remember to forgive yourself
when you lose it,
when you blow it,
when you stumble,
when you trip,
when you make
a complete ass out of yourself.
we all make mistakes.
We are human.
Our blunders connect us,
and we can find the connection
precisely through that which
makes us human,
that which renders us imperfect.
We can laugh together,
we can become indignant together,
we can all fall down together,
and we can all get back up again.
Let us model self-forgiveness.
Those we care for
will trust us more
as we regain trust in ourselves.
Our children won’t make war
with one another
when they witness their parents
at peace with themselves.
Eyelids heavy as marble;
nighttime is seducing me.
It’s time for bed now.
I am so tired from two nights of offspring induced sleep deprivation so my practices are abbreviated tonight. I had a very brief sit followed by a very brief post. I would’ve written something longer, but my eyes were closing with my fingers poised above the keyboard. I can take a hint. May all beings find sweet rest and safety in this moment.
In meditation tonight
it struck me–
what if I weren’t capable
of believing the thought
that I need to work hard
to become someone else,
What if I just couldn’t
think the thought
that there is something
wrong with me
that needs to be fixed?
What if I knew
that I’m who I’m supposed to be
doing what I’m supposed to be doing
exactly where I need to be
and at the perfect time?
What would happen then?
I don’t think I’d become complacent,
self-satisfied, lazy, or indifferent.
I think the contrary–
that I’d become more engaged,
more caring, more proactive,
more interested in the welfare of others.
It turns out that self-criticism
makes me quite self-absorbed,
opens me up to my connection
with everyone else in the universe.
I owe it to all beings, then,
to drop the story
that there is something wrong with me,
and wake up to the perfection
of this moment.
May the love I cultivate
for the Self within me
free up my power
to be a blessing
in the lives of others.