Adjusting to a new reality
and wanting to be graceful about it…
but watching myself
go kicking and screaming instead.
And then grateful
I can be this honest with myself.
Noticing I’m judging
when I want to be accepting,
I’m scared when I want to be brave
I’m avoiding when I want to be proactive.
And it hits me…
I don’t have to be good at this.
I can be the way I am
and show up for myself
with love and compassion.
A space opens up
where the resistance once lived.
Now true grace can be revealed.
And what if you gave up all control?
What if you could trust the Universe
to take the lead?
What if you could open yourself
to the messages of spirit
and having received them,
put them into action?
Friends, there’s no time to be wishy washy.
Are you all in?
Before you seek the friendship of others,
become a friend to yourself.
If you’re wanting love, approval and appreciation,
try giving these gifts to yourself.
And then see what happens
as you think and act and move
inside this precious love.
You might go to the ends of the earth
and still never find the answer.
You could ask the wisest teacher
and still not know who you are.
Stop all this frantic searching
outside of yourself.
The answers are within.
Get still, close your eyes,
There now, isn’t that better?
I show up here again
and I don’t know what to say.
Why should I say anything at all?
I’m tired, sleep deprived,
wondering if my son
will wake me up again
in the middle of the night
as he has done every night this week.
I seek solace everywhere but inside myself,
but this is where the solace rests.
Maybe if I were to just stop,
take a deep breath,
close my eyes and go inside,
I’d find that it’s okay
to not say anything,
it’s okay to be sleep-deprived,
and it’s okay
to seek solace outside of myself…
And then I might laugh,
because it’s the voice within me
that just gave me the solace I was seeking,
that told me I’m okay.
And then I realized
this suffering isn’t
some nuisance to be tolerated…
it’s an opportunity
to dive deep within myself
and learn something.
It’s a chance to trust
that what I’ve been given
is what I’m meant to have
and as I shift inside
I’ll see the shifts on the outside too.
It’s a confrontation
with the old, outworn stories,
a chance to rewrite the narrative
into something deeper,
something more beautiful,
more meaningful than before.
And I turn to my higher power,
Let this be an initiation
into profound understanding.
Let this be a signpost
that I’ve moved into a territory
of authentic feeling.
Facing what arises,
loving what I cannot yet understand,
faithful that whatever brought me here
won’t leave me here to die…
Awakening to what is
and who I am,
seeing the truth of my deepest Self.
Two times I sought solace in the wood
today and it was good
being soothed by Mother Nature
in that way.
I sat on a boulder in the stream,
it would seem
my choice was sound
once my mood turned round
and I was myself again.
I sat until the night’s chill
began to settle
and the setting sun halfway done
on its path back home
shone golden on the tree friends
who held me while I said
I honor this path I am on,
and I am grateful for the means to walk it.
I summon the courage to stay on this path
and I see the rightness of this moment.