I’m back in MD
after a long day of travel.
I’ll be honest…
It’s a let down
coming back to the cold
and the chaos of home
after the warmth
and the simplicity
of the desert.
I thought I did so much
work on my retreat,
the work of awakening,
of becoming more aware.
It turns out
the the greatest work
I never thought it would be like this.
That’s because life doesn’t stop
to check in with my little ideas
about how things should be.
It just goes on being what it is,
regardless of my thoughts.
If I want to be happy,
I need to be aware of my thinking,
and ask some questions
when my thoughts create shadows
in place of the light.
May I have the strength to see the truth
when my thoughts have blinded me.
May I have the patience to endure
the challenges life has in store for me,
and may these challenges
make me stronger.
You say you are not supported?
You are afraid the ground
will give way under your feet?
Just sit a moment.
You are supported.
The chair you are sitting
is holding you.
The building you are in
is holding the chair.
The earth rises up
to support the building,
and the planets and the sun
each have their own
keeping the earth in its orbit,
maintaining its precious distance
from the sun,
a distance that makes life possible.
Take a deep breath.
All of these amazing processes
swirling within you
through no effort on your part
keeping you alive.
close your eyes and breathe.
You are supported…
This was inspired by a passage from Byron Katie’s book I Need Your Love, Is That True? If you are going through any relationship challenges, I highly recommend it. If your relationship is going great, I highly recommend it. 😀
And what if
after all of these efforts we have made
that all along
this whole Universe
was completely worthy of our trust?
What if we knew without a doubt
that everything really does show up
at the right time?
What if we had the direct experience
of all things happening for a reason?
And what would this moment look like
if we could trust Life completely
and surrender to the flow
of all that is?
Living on the edge of my comfort zone,
seeing how many hang-ups I still have,
wanting to embody perfection of patience,
compassion, understanding, self-restraint,
being confronted with human reality…
I feel the disappointment when I fail
and wonder if I can do better the next time.
After so many years of strengthening the habit
of reacting with anger
what can I realistically expect from myself now?
My loved ones are the most ruthless
at pointing out how far I have yet to go
and the least likely
to celebrate how far I’ve already come.
So there is the added disappointment
of wanting to be seen and heard
and not being met with the understanding
I so deeply long for.
Perhaps I can have compassion for all of us,
for the challenge of existing in an apparently
while simultaneously living in the isolation
of one’s own imagined world.
This is the plight we all must navigate
and the gift we must all unwrap
if we are ever to experience
the bliss of divine union,
the peace of life fully lived.
Who is this woman
so energetic, happy,
enjoying her connection with others?
without my story.
I suddenly let go of the lie
that things are supposed
to be a certain way
and this moment opened up,
just as it is.
It was light,
I could finally see
the beautiful faces around me,
and they were smiling too.
I like this woman without a story.
I should get to know her better.
Because everything I see
is a projection of my mind
I cannot separate my judgments of you
from my self.
What I see in you
must also be in me…
Otherwise, how could I know
what it is I’m seeing?
To see goodness in you
it must be alive in me,
to see a flaw in you,
that too must exist in me.
I want peace.
I want harmony.
I must begin my work
where these qualities exist–
inside of my own mind.
If I ever start criticizing you,
just hold a mirror up in front of my face.
Maybe I’ll remember
that it’s not you I’m criticizing
As I love you with all my heart,
let me look into the mirror of your eyes.
Maybe I’ll remember
that it’s not you I’m loving,
And as I deepen my understanding
I’ll remember that the labels
I and you
are convenient simplifications
of the reality we share.
I’ll remember that there are no distinct lines
between us and there aren’t
two separate selves.
There is one self,
through many beings all at once.