Forgiveness All Day

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I spent the day praying
for a miracle of forgiveness.
I didn’t want to hold grievances
against anyone anymore.
I wanted to be free
of all the negativity
that was chaining me
to hurts of my past.
It seemed to go quite well,
this heart-opening I requested
from God and the Angels.
I felt lighter, more spacious,
more free,
as I imagined forgiving everyone
in my life, no exceptions.
But then night fell.
He went out with his friends
leaving me alone with the kids…
again.
And I was tired.
And they wouldn’t go to bed.
Then they wouldn’t stay in bed.
So I yelled. I got loud and angry.
But hey,
I practiced forgiveness all day,
so maybe I’ll be able
to extend some to myself.

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One Little Life

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The purpose of the Dark Night
is to better see the light of day
when dawn arrives
and we realize we are still living.
The hurt we feel
helps keep us real
for all others who are hurting.
And the steps we take to heal the hurt
give us the strength to show up
and convey the honest truth
to those who have forgotten.
In the fullness of time
the wounds heal
and reveal the delicate dance
of life balancing on the precipice
of sadness and joy.
Come to the balance point
and regard the potential for both,
inside, outside,
everywhere around you.
Trust that there are no mistakes
and allow the dance to inform
the deepest layers of your being.
Always in a space of becoming,
we are all dreamers, doers, thinkers,
lovers, artists, scoundrels
and precious fools
fumbling through this one little life.

Please God, Help

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Unraveling.
darkness taking over…
no energy,
no will.
Lost.
Alone.
Hopeless.
I’m afraid to ask if this could get worse;
I don’t think I could bear it if it did.
Weak.
Hating this part of me that is so sad.
Angry.
Angry at life.
Angry at everything, everyone,
but most of all angry at my Self
for somehow allowing this to happen.
Did I have a choice?
What could I have done differently to avoid this?
Could this have been avoided?
Please god, help.
I can’t see the light anymore
and I’m scared.

Get The Stuff Done!

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All of a sudden,
as if someone had lit a fire
underneath me,
I felt motivated to get some stuff done.
Things that I had been wanting to do
for weeks…POOF!–
got done in a matter of minutes.
And so I wonder about procrastination.
I wonder about the time I spent
judging myself for not getting things done.
I wonder what I could’ve done with that time,
that energy,
if it were used in service of something greater
than self-recrimination.
May I develop the discipline to notice
when I’m caught in that old trap
and just get the freaking stuff done already!

Help Me Create An Angels Playlist

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Hi friends…as I was wallowing in my sorrow and misery a few days ago, something reminded me that I’m not alone, and suddenly I had this idea to reach out here…I mean, why not? What if this blog could be a place of connection and collaboration as well as a forum for self-exploration?  I became excited thinking about joining minds and energy for a common purpose, and these days any excitement at all is a step in the right direction, so I decided to go for it.

My first idea for a collaborative project is super simple and easy:  it’s a call for songs that make you feel uplifted and inspired, that break your heart open and remind you of the presence of the Divine in your life.

I have always loved the idea of angels watching over us…and music is one of the ways that I feel the Divine communicates with us.  What if we co-created an Angels playlist, made entirely of beautiful music that speaks directly to our souls??  Do you know of any songs that have an angelic feel or theme to them?  What if we put all of our songs together and created a playlist that would be comforting, soothing, welcoming, uplifting, healing, inspiring?  What if  this music could help some fellow wayfarers on the path feel a little less alone, a little more inspired, hopeful?

Please leave a comment with your top 1-3 divinely inspired songs and any pertinent info that will help me to find them (album, artist, etc.).  Once I have a few song titles I’ll create a playlist on Spotify and share it here.  Thanks so much for your help, friends.  I look forward to hearing from you.

With hope and gratitude,

Lorien

Let Myself Go

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I curl inside myself
even tighter
than I ever have before.
It is dark, uncomfortable,
lonely,
far away from everyone.
It should feel safe
but it doesn’t.
This isn’t a fearless navigation
of unknown territory…
it’s staying stuck in one place,
terrified, confused.
I can’t remember
why I’m so scared
or what got me here
in the first place.
I’d like to get out
if only I’d let myself go.