Tag Archives: awakening

Get The Stuff Done!

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All of a sudden,
as if someone had lit a fire
underneath me,
I felt motivated to get some stuff done.
Things that I had been wanting to do
for weeks…POOF!–
got done in a matter of minutes.
And so I wonder about procrastination.
I wonder about the time I spent
judging myself for not getting things done.
I wonder what I could’ve done with that time,
that energy,
if it were used in service of something greater
than self-recrimination.
May I develop the discipline to notice
when I’m caught in that old trap
and just get the freaking stuff done already!

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The Universe Laughs Last

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The Universe is a jokester,
its arms lightly crisscrossing
its abdomen
doubled over in laughter
pointing at me…
bellowing bawdy guffaws
AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
Slapping its thigh,
so satisfied with itself.
Every time I think I get it,
I learned the lesson,
I figured it out,
something else happens,
and a big neon sign flashes
right in front of my eyes,
SURPRISE!
And I’m standing there,
mouth hanging open,
eyes blank,
WAIT, WHAT?
Looking so foolish.
And that’s how I figured
no one escapes from the game.
I could play smart
or I could play dumb
but I don’t get to sit out.
And the universe always
laughs last.

True Grace

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Little by little
the awakening comes.
Can I be patient?
Can I love the one
who needs time to learn?
Self-acceptance begins
with radical honesty.
Can I look at the parts
I’ve been rejecting,
the parts I’ve been ashamed of,
and hold them tenderly,
just allowing them to be?
When I stop fighting with reality
a space opens up within me,
and I can see rightly.
I pray:
May I trust in this process.
May I surrender to the One
who knows me better than
I know myself.
May I allow this One
to open my eyes, mind,
body, and heart
to this moment as it is.
May I know true grace.

It Was Worth It!

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Wide awake in the middle of the night,
head buzzing with the latest fears, doubts and anxieties,
I decided to dive deep into the ocean of myself.
I discovered stories I had told about myself
since childhood.
I saw the ways that I had unconsciously trained
my husband to perpetuate the stories,
and how desperately I was seeking
love, attention and approval
even in the midst of my beliefs of unworthiness.
Wide awake in the middle of the night
I experienced a profound reckoning,
a chance, a choice to stop telling those stories
once and for all,
to witness and know and hold my goodness
in the vast space of my tender heart—
and to see the innocence in all of us.
Five hours passed as I underwent this reckoning.
The next morning I was sleep deprived
and most likely looked like a zombie…
but awakening to the truth at the core of myself
was worth it!

The Truth Is

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For so long the sense of urgency
has haunted me…
Gotta go there,
gotta do this,
gotta be someone,
I’m not good enough…yet—

gotta get better!
Then I can be loved,

then I can be successful,
then I can be happy.
My head spins,
my stomach hurts,
this belief of
Never good enough
always right there,
chasing me, haunting me.
And then I realize
I can stop, breathe,
feel space within me,
and tune into the truth.
No thing is chasing me,
no thing is haunting me.
Although in the past
I believed my erroneous
thoughts and stories were
THE truth—
today I stand in a different truth.
The truth is,
I am a human, being.
The truth is,
I am imperfect.
The truth is,
I don’t have to be good,
I don’t have to be special,
I don’t have to be right,
I don’t have to be safe,
I don’t have to be other than
who I am right now.
Do you know what this means?
Freedom.

Of Infinite Possibilities

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Determination.
To heal.
To rise above.
To feel the pain
and take the good medicine.
My posture has changed;
for now more humble,
more protective.
This turning into myself
doesn’t reduce me,
the way a daytime flower
folding into herself
during the coolness of night
doesn’t reduce the splendor
of her awakening
to the next day.
I am nurturing seeds of potential
and when the time is right
they too shall experience
a breaking open
and a deep, sighing welcome
to this life
of infinite possibilities.