Tag Archives: breakup

It Was Worth It!

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Wide awake in the middle of the night,
head buzzing with the latest fears, doubts and anxieties,
I decided to dive deep into the ocean of myself.
I discovered stories I had told about myself
since childhood.
I saw the ways that I had unconsciously trained
my husband to perpetuate the stories,
and how desperately I was seeking
love, attention and approval
even in the midst of my beliefs of unworthiness.
Wide awake in the middle of the night
I experienced a profound reckoning,
a chance, a choice to stop telling those stories
once and for all,
to witness and know and hold my goodness
in the vast space of my tender heart—
and to see the innocence in all of us.
Five hours passed as I underwent this reckoning.
The next morning I was sleep deprived
and most likely looked like a zombie…
but awakening to the truth at the core of myself
was worth it!

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Time and Space

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Claiming time and space
for this self that wants to emerge
like a butterfly from a chrysalis
even though it doesn’t feel safe,
even though it feels like someone
will smack the chrysalis to the pavement
and stomp on it…
Claiming time and space
for this heart that is unbroken,
even when pieces of it
are scattered everywhere,
believing that there are parts
that remain whole,
searching for those…
Claiming time and space
for the child within,
the one who is innocent,
who didn’t choose any of this,
who tantrums, who says,
THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!
Taking that child, holding it close,
allowing the healing to take place
in time and space.