Tag Archives: courage

Daring to Dream

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I give myself permission to dream,
and then I dare to do it.
I make a vision board.
I write.
I hope.
I wish…
and then I act.
Even tiny steps
are steps toward the life
I dream about.
Just one conscious breath
gives me the strength
to reach for my best self
in times of challenge.
I craft the quality of my life
with moments
spent in awareness.
May I awaken
the best in myself
and have the courage
to share my best
with the world.

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You Can’t Scare Me

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Go ahead,
sell the house.
Go ahead,
change the Wifi password.
Go ahead,
tell me that you think
I’m mentally ill.
It’s fine.
You can’t scare me.
And maybe that’s why
you’re pushing so hard—
you know deep inside
that this is about your fear,
not mine.
When you wake up
from this nightmare
and you’re ready to relate to me
as an adult,
I’ll be ready.
Until then,
get your mommy,
get your blankie,
get your warm milk,
and go fuck yourself.

 

*******
Wrote this directly after having another unsatisfactory conversation with the man I married eight years ago, who informed me he wanted a divorce in July, who still lives in the house with us, and who is threatening to sell the house, saying, “There’s nothing you can do about it.”  I’m not in the best mood right now, but I’m not scared.

Give It A Try

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If I died today,
would I feel good
about the legacy
I left behind?
No.
There is so much more I want to do,
so much more life I want to live,
so many experiences I want to have,
so many things I want to give.
It’s sobering to realize
I’m not ready to die,
and illuminating
to think about why.
Feeling brave?
Give it a try.

Never Before

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The Piano at 2:25 and at 3:00…

I’m standing at the edge
of my consciousness
delicately balanced,
peering over into the great abyss of space,
not sure whether I should be
scared as hell or ecstatic.
I can’t believe I’m here
and how lonely and excited I feel
all at once.

I shout out into the void
Why is there no map?
A voice answers
Because no one else has ever been here
before.

 

The Truth of My Deepest Self

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And then I realized
this suffering isn’t
some nuisance to be tolerated…
it’s an opportunity
to dive deep within myself
and learn something.
It’s a chance to trust
that what I’ve been given
is what I’m meant to have
(for now)
and as I shift inside
I’ll see the shifts on the outside too.
It’s a confrontation
with the old, outworn stories,
a chance to rewrite the narrative
into something deeper,
something more beautiful,
more meaningful than before.
And I turn to my higher power,
saying,
Let this be an initiation
into profound understanding.
Let this be a signpost
that I’ve moved into a territory
of authentic feeling.
Facing what arises,
loving what I cannot yet understand,
faithful that whatever brought me here
won’t leave me here to die…
Awakening to what is
and who I am,
seeing the truth of my deepest Self.

The Voice of Courage

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As I faced the choice
of turning around
and going back the way I came
or forging ahead into the unknown,
I became aware first of
the fear of the unknown,
and a voice saying “Turn back!”
Then I went deeper into myself
to a place beyond the fear
and discovered that the pull
of a new experience, a new possibility
was more compelling than my attachment
to what is familiar.
Each time I choose possibility over fear,
I get a little stronger,
a little more amazed
by what can happen
when I listen to the voice of courage.

The Truth Is

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For so long the sense of urgency
has haunted me…
Gotta go there,
gotta do this,
gotta be someone,
I’m not good enough…yet—

gotta get better!
Then I can be loved,

then I can be successful,
then I can be happy.
My head spins,
my stomach hurts,
this belief of
Never good enough
always right there,
chasing me, haunting me.
And then I realize
I can stop, breathe,
feel space within me,
and tune into the truth.
No thing is chasing me,
no thing is haunting me.
Although in the past
I believed my erroneous
thoughts and stories were
THE truth—
today I stand in a different truth.
The truth is,
I am a human, being.
The truth is,
I am imperfect.
The truth is,
I don’t have to be good,
I don’t have to be special,
I don’t have to be right,
I don’t have to be safe,
I don’t have to be other than
who I am right now.
Do you know what this means?
Freedom.