Tag Archives: grief

Open to Receiving

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Don’t be afraid if you are asked to let go
of someone you presently hold dear to your heart.
Do you grieve the setting sun
knowing that it will rise again at day break?
Do you mourn the loss of summer
as autumn leaves begin to fall?
Do you regret the waves flowing their way
back to the ocean
even though in the next instant
they crash again upon the shore?
Everything in this life
has a beginning, a middle, and an end.
Letting go gracefully
makes the space to receive
the many delights life wants to bring you
if only you are open to receiving them.

Please Let There Be a Reason

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Bottomless grief.
Falling further than I thought possible.
Endless tears,
crying over any little thing.
Then the numbness,
the emptiness,
a state of motionless,
all-consuming despair.
Could this experience
be carving into me
greater depth,
a more profound understanding
of the suffering of the world?
Please let there be some reason for this.

Rollercoaster

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The rollercoaster of emotions…
One moment
fury, rage,
the next,
sadness, grief
I try to find ground
and discover that nothing is solid.
The world trembles and opens up
beneath my feet.
I fall and keep falling.
Even my dreams speak
of disaster, of dissolution, of death.
And what am I grieving?
It certainly wasn’t love
if it dissipates into a thin veil
and then disappears
as if it were never there.
Am I mourning what I’ve lost
or my projection
of what could have been?

Meant To Be

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What can I say?
My old life crumbles all around me
and a new life begins to grow.
I’m busy mourning what I’ve lost
meanwhile
all these tiny miracles
are unfolding
all the time.
If I see a problem,
it’s time to look deeper,
and not outside of myself,
but inside.
Deeper still
and the boundaries I drew
between me and the world
begin to dissolve.
Even deeper
and my entire self melts away
to be replaced
with the awareness
that all of this,
without exception,
was meant to be.

Another Wild Ride

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Feel what you’re feeling, they say
Just give it time
You’ll get through this
You’ll be better off
And I hear them
and I know they mean well…
Meanwhile, my heart is breaking
into tinier and tinier pieces,
into dust
and I feel like a ghost.
I take a walk
Am I even there?
Or am I dead among the living?
I search for the meaning
in all of this suffering
I look inside
I see shock, grief, sadness,
fear, anxiety, anger.
I see hope.
I see hunger for better.
I see a woman strong,
longing for the sweet freedom
waiting on the other side.
Feel what you’re feeling.
Surfing the waves of these wild emotions…
I buckle up for another wild ride.

You Are Stronger Than You Know

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Do not lose heart, we were made for these times. —Clarissa Pinkola Estes

It might seem inconceivable to feel joy and gratitude
when so many others are grieving
but I promise you that your happiness
is a great medicine that this world yearns for.
Open your eyes, look around you,
let your heart open and be glad.
The events that cause so much suffering
give you an opportunity to know who you are,
what you stand for,
what is important to you,
what you are capable of,
what you must do.
Let the world’s sadness
awaken the soft spot in your heart
that you may feel compassion for all beings.
Breathe deeply, and let this breath of peace
stream out in all directions
blessing the world with your presence.
It might seem to you otherwise,
especially in moments of crippling doubt—
but you are a magnificent, talented,
powerful, unique, essential part of the whole.
Your job is to be yourself,
because we need your joy to know our own.
Don’t become lost in your grief;
this sadness is one drop in the infinite
ocean of consciousness.
But if you must, let yourself grieve
until you feel the sun on your skin again.
Let your grief open your heart
to the suffering of others.
You are stronger than you know.

Reflections After My Grandmother’s Viewing

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She looked so peaceful
as if she were sleeping;
I expected at any moment
she would wake up and speak to us.
Beautiful flowers surrounded her
and pinned to the bouquets
were notes of sympathy and condolence.
Many friends and family
came to see her and pay their respects–
Why does it  take an event such as this
to bring us all together?
I touched her hands, her face,
so familiar to me;
they felt foreign
with all the warmth gone from them…
And yet still there was this surge of affection
seeing her there, looking so peaceful, asleep.
I wondered about this tradition.
The body in the casket
was not my grandmother…
it was the garment she wore for 94 years.
My grandmother is everywhere now,
my heart knows this.
I can feel her love now more than ever.
I looked and looked, but I couldn’t see death…
only life in its many forms as its flows
from one state of being to the next.