Tag Archives: integration

Last Night in Arizona (For Now)

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My girlfriends have left
and here I am in Phoenix,
in a nice room I found
on Airbnb (thank you!)
I leave tomorrow.
I miss my kids
and can’t wait to see them,
yet I feel anxious
about coming back
and seeing the man
who was my husband for eight years.
This grieving process makes no sense.
This heart feels healed and wounded
all at once.
I went to the desert for answers,
I shared my insights,
I meditated, laughed and cried.
My heart burst open.
I could see that everything will be fine.
But how to maintain that feeling
in a home that no longer feels like home?
I wonder how I can
integrate myself
back into my daily routine,
how I will look at him,
speak to him
knowing what I know now.
One day at a time I suppose…
it’s the only way this works
in the end.

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Make Room for a Glorious Feast

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As we near the end of one chapter
And look to the beginning of another,

I think of integration…

What it means to have truly lived
and absorbed and digested
and felt full
of all of these experiences
so that
moving forward
I can leave them
where I had them
like I would leave the dishes
of a delightful meal
on the table where I ate

And have space
in my belly,
in my  heart,
in my mind
NOW
for the new experiences
that await me.

Clear the table
of the old crumbs,
the bones picked dry
the glasses half drunk

And let’s make room for a glorious feast.