Tag Archives: journey

Yet Another Journey

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It’s so tempting to think
enlightenment is the goal,
the result of doing the work
walking the walk
becoming a better person,
but enlightenment
is just the beginning.
On the path of awakening
we realize how very little
we actually know
and our eyes,
hearts,
and minds
all become a little more open,
a little more clear.
In this space,
the light has enough room
to shine through
and reveal to us
exactly where we need
to be working,
Right here,
in this moment
so mysterious
we realize
we cannot know
the unknowable.
This spacious not-knowing
lifts away the heavy darkness,
makes us light.
This kind of enlightenment
is the beginning
of yet another journey.

Step 99

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Yep…
I know I wrote that post last night,
I was there, I wrote it.
And yet,
I somehow managed to forget a key step–
to press the Publish button.

Ah, that’s okay.
I was able to change the date published
to reflect the day and time I wrote it,
and the neurotic mind
that needs me to post every day
is soothed.

And now here is a post
about making it within inches
of the finish line
and collapsing…

an iconic experience
that many people know all too well.

When have you taken ninety-nine steps
on the one hundred step journey of awakening,
and fallen asleep right there on step ninety-nine?

When I Am Ready

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Earlier in the year, I decided to work through the Twelve Steps on my journey toward recovery of my creative self.  For some reason this afternoon, I remembered that project, how I sailed through the first three steps and then stalled at Step 4, which is the moral inventory.  As I continued to mull over the project, I felt the familiar accusatory feelings arising, and I noticed some pretty big players becoming louder and more visible in this head game I have set up for myself.

You never get anything done.  You are so full of ideas but have no discipline to see them through to the end.  You have so many thoughts that a moral inventory would be positively exhausting…you can’t be fixed. Just accept that you will never be fully happy, peaceful, secure–and get back to hiding your deepest feelings…they don’t mean anything anyway.”

Wow. Yikes.  Thank you emotional system for all of that helpful advice. Now it’s time to be brave and cultivate even more radical self-acceptance.  To love the neurotic thoughts, the tired body, the spirit that feels lost and alone.  And then in that space of radical self love and acceptance, now my mind is free to bask in the infinite ocean of being.

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I know what I want to let go of:
greed, pride, shame, pain, blame;
regret, procrastination, envy,
competitiveness;
resistance, fear, depression, isolation,
doubt, anger,  impatience, mistrust,
isolation, frustration, resentment, reactivity–
and any attachment to any specific
person, place, object, mental state,
outcome or experience.

I want to be free.
Show me how to let go of these qualities
and make space for this moment,
to unclutter the mind and savor
the splendor of this moment.

Meeting the hurting places with compassion,
I see that they are just another story I have told myself
And when I am ready to see the truth,
I will.