Tag Archives: journey

Back Home: What Lies Ahead

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I’m back in MD
after a long day of travel.
I’ll be honest…
It’s a let down
coming back to the cold
and the chaos of home
after the warmth
and the simplicity
of the desert.
I thought I did so much
work on my retreat,
the work of awakening,
of becoming more aware.
It turns out
the the greatest work
lies ahead.

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Last Night in Arizona (For Now)

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My girlfriends have left
and here I am in Phoenix,
in a nice room I found
on Airbnb (thank you!)
I leave tomorrow.
I miss my kids
and can’t wait to see them,
yet I feel anxious
about coming back
and seeing the man
who was my husband for eight years.
This grieving process makes no sense.
This heart feels healed and wounded
all at once.
I went to the desert for answers,
I shared my insights,
I meditated, laughed and cried.
My heart burst open.
I could see that everything will be fine.
But how to maintain that feeling
in a home that no longer feels like home?
I wonder how I can
integrate myself
back into my daily routine,
how I will look at him,
speak to him
knowing what I know now.
One day at a time I suppose…
it’s the only way this works
in the end.

Isn’t That Better?

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You might go to the ends of the earth
and still never find the answer.
You could ask the wisest teacher
and still not know who you are.
Stop all this frantic searching
outside of yourself.
The answers are within.
Get still, close your eyes,
be quiet.
Listen.
There now, isn’t that better?

The Meaning You Bring

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Searching for meaning,
none appears,
and so it must be made.
This journey of chaos
from birth until death
in a universe so infinitely large
that our precious home
is little more than a dust mote–
if we don’t make meaning of this,
we might die of sheer despair.
So make meaning.
Make meaning of everything you do
from the first light of dawn
until your eyelids grow heavy with sleep.
Every thought, word and action,
create meaning.
Know yourself,
strive to understand
the meaning that others have found.
Happiness is within your reach,
and it is here now,
in everything this life is,
in the meaning you bring to it.

Yet Another Journey

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It’s so tempting to think
enlightenment is the goal,
the result of doing the work
walking the walk
becoming a better person,
but enlightenment
is just the beginning.
On the path of awakening
we realize how very little
we actually know
and our eyes,
hearts,
and minds
all become a little more open,
a little more clear.
In this space,
the light has enough room
to shine through
and reveal to us
exactly where we need
to be working,
Right here,
in this moment
so mysterious
we realize
we cannot know
the unknowable.
This spacious not-knowing
lifts away the heavy darkness,
makes us light.
This kind of enlightenment
is the beginning
of yet another journey.

Step 99

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Yep…
I know I wrote that post last night,
I was there, I wrote it.
And yet,
I somehow managed to forget a key step–
to press the Publish button.

Ah, that’s okay.
I was able to change the date published
to reflect the day and time I wrote it,
and the neurotic mind
that needs me to post every day
is soothed.

And now here is a post
about making it within inches
of the finish line
and collapsing…

an iconic experience
that many people know all too well.

When have you taken ninety-nine steps
on the one hundred step journey of awakening,
and fallen asleep right there on step ninety-nine?