why dost thou elude me?
Why, when I need you the most,
do you seem to be in such short supply?
that’s how it is.
While learning how to be patient with life,
you need to be patient with yourself.
Patience with Self
is a sure sign that you’re ready
to be patient with others.
I never thought it would be like this.
That’s because life doesn’t stop
to check in with my little ideas
about how things should be.
It just goes on being what it is,
regardless of my thoughts.
If I want to be happy,
I need to be aware of my thinking,
and ask some questions
when my thoughts create shadows
in place of the light.
May I have the strength to see the truth
when my thoughts have blinded me.
May I have the patience to endure
the challenges life has in store for me,
and may these challenges
make me stronger.
I was feeling disappointed
for not handling a difficult situation
with more grace and skill…
Then a friend reminded me
This is a tough situation,
you’re not supposed to be graceful.
It’s messy…And that’s okay!
thankful for friends who remind me
that it’s okay to be human.
It’s okay to show up as myself.
It’s okay to make mistakes,
and even better to learn from them.
I breathe again,
renewing my commitment to relax
into this process
of just being me.
Going to bed early tonight…
hoping for a sound sleep.
Exhaustion has crept up on me
and my patience has flown away.
Sometimes I wish life came
with an instruction manual,
but I guess in the end,
there is no right way or wrong way,
it’s just the way I’m taking right now,
and I can learn with every step.
It’s a process of refinement,
of discernment, attunement,
discovering ever subtler
levels of consciousness,
finding the currents of connection,
the threads that run through all of us,
tapping in to what is meaningful,
lasting, helpful, loving, and kind.
and I’m still not done.
and, I’ll never be done.
My work will never be good enough
to stop working.
I’ll never have learned enough
to stop learning.
I won’t ever have loved enough
to stop loving,
and I won’t have awakened enough
to stop awakening.
Yes. I’ll never be done.
Let us cultivate
patience with the process
of learning how to live
or else life becomes a hassle,
offering many reasons
to feel impatient, put upon,
All you need to know
will be revealed at the proper time–
don’t act needy or entitled,
that will get you nowhere.
Open your eyes and ears,
observe. Be persistent, yes,
with the things you want to learn,
but don’t throw a tantrum
when it doesn’t turn out your way.
Growing up isn’t a singular act
when you’re committed to learning
for a lifetime;
relax, you are fine as you are,
you are who you need to be.
You’ve come a long way
along this path
and you still have a long way to go…
so be patient with this process
of learning how to live,
this learning that is life.
I did it!
The Spring Awakening workshop
came and went.
I stepped out of my comfort bubble
and into a room full of exuberant dancers.
I learned how to play the harmonium,
and although I flubbed up one of the songs a bit
HEY, I just started learning how to play
three days ago, teaching myself how to play…
So yeah, I guess I can forgive myself for not being perfect.
That perfectionism BS is so last year.
And today, on the eve of the spring equinox,
I expanded into a fuller version of myself,
a self who loves to sing and dance and laugh,
all in the presence of others who love to do the same.
How beautiful life is.