Tag Archives: nourishment

You Are Home

Standard

Return home now.
When you are out
wandering the world
and you feel lost, alone,
scared, helpless,
simply return home.
But where is home?
Ah, now that is the real question.
Home is where you can find peace,
love, acceptance, nourishment,
rest, a sanctuary,
a warm welcome.
Is home a physical location?
What happens if your dwelling place
were suddenly washed away
or blown away, or blown up
or torn down or taken away?
Do you have no home?
Are you now homeless?
No! You will always have a home.
Sit. Close your eyes, get quiet, get still.
Sit taller. Take a deep breath.
Look inside, look deeper.
Home is where you can find peace,
love, acceptance, nourishment,
rest, a sanctuary,
a warm welcome.
Home is wherever you are.
Home is YOU.
You are HOME.

Advertisements

My Masterpiece Day

Standard

It was a masterpiece day…
A friend encouraged me to go to yoga,
and the teacher was so compassionate
my heart melted in her presence.
Then I nourished my body with a good lunch
and my mind with good conversation…
My friend and I strolled through the woods
right on the cusp of autumn;
already leaves are changing colors
and dropping to the ground.
We waded in a cool stream
and for a moment
I was completely free of
any worry, fear or doubt.
And I remembered,
THIS. This is who I really am.
Yes, it was a masterpiece day,
and I am grateful!

NaPoWriMo Day 6: Food & Me

Standard

I love food.
I love its colors and textures
and its smells.
I love preparing it,
watching ingredients transform
into something amazing
right before my eyes.
I love sitting down to a good meal
and savoring every bite.
But sometimes…
I don’t manage to nourish myself
as much as I should.
Sometimes food is an afterthought,
and it takes becoming crazed
to realize that I’ve gone too long between meals.
I recently learned
that nice people become monsters
when their blood glucose levels dip
because of hunger.
Wanting to be kind to those I love
is motivation enough
to be more vigilant
about eating as much as my body needs me to.
But sometimes,
I want someone to just make me the food,
bring me the food,
and clean up afterwards.
I love food.
But it sure is a lot of work.

Food for Your soul

Standard

Get to know yourself
not as someone you
need to change or fix–
but with a sense of curiosity,
discovering who you are in this moment
and appreciating that person.
Self-compassion isn’t frivolous
or self-absorbed,
it is an act of salvation.
When you are able to
authentically offer yourself compassion
and commit to deep self-knowing,
all of a sudden you stop fighting
with life
and you start to savor and love
what you have right now,
who you are right now.
From such an open place
any thought or feeling,
any experience
is a call to awakening,
food for your soul,
a way to be nourished
from within
so that your radiance
can shine into the lives
of all beings.

Birthday Dinner Reprise

Standard

Ah, when we give life,
when we give ourselves,
second chances to be happy…
such wonderful opportunities arise
to have needs met,
to be happy,
to be heard,
seen,
and known.

Today, my birthday,
I cleaned and cleaned the house,
it felt good to put things in order.

Tonight,
I went out on a date
to a new restaurant friends were raving about.
I relaxed, ate a wonderful meal
with my husband,
laughed,
was fed in my mind, body, heart, and spirit.

Ah, when we give life,
when we give ourselves
second chances to be happy,
such wonderful opportunities arise.

Nourishment

Standard

Beginning in the morning
with a little quiche
I threw together for breakfast,
and flowing into the afternoon
in which I creatively mixed some leftovers
to make a somewhat edible lunch
and then flying into the evening
with not one but TWO meals–
one for tonight
and one for tomorrow’s dinner–
I spent this day
thinking about how I nourish others,
and not just theoretically,
but truly, actually,
how I nurture others
with the food I spend so much time preparing.

And now, at night,
so tired that I can barely sit up straight,
so tired that I can barely stay awake
for my evening sit,
I wonder:

How much is too much?
When does the act of nourishing someone else
become a simultaneous act
of self-depletion?
And is there a way to strike a balance?

The question I’m always asking:
How do I get my own needs met,
when my focus is on meeting the needs of others?

I’m too tired to take a shower,
but that’s okay,
because it’s winter,
and there really isn’t any dirt or sweat
except for the dirt in my own mind,
and the sweat of the one inside me
who was racing even though
she knew there will never be a finish line.

Going to bed now.

Fulfilled By the Simple Things

Standard

It’s again late as I sit down to write my post of the day.  I wasn’t sure what the subject would be, but then it struck me how relaxed I feel now, the warm glow of being in a place where I feel nourished, uplifted,  seen, heard, where I’m having fun.  I’m a very lucky girl.  I love my in laws, feel very welcomed by them, look forward to seeing them, and laugh a lot with them when we’re together.

Nourished.  A big part of the warm glowy feeling arises from being well-fed.  I haven’t had to think about or prepare a meal since we arrived in Utah last Monday.  Can I get an “AMEN!” from all of the moms (and dads, and caregivers) out there who get kind of sick thinking about preparing one more meal when you’re just feeling tired and want to rest?  It has been an incredible luxury to have family around saying, “Let’s have crepes and bacon for breakfast!”  “I’m putting ribs on the grill for tonight!”  “Let’s make a turkey and mashed potatoes dinner!”  “Could I fix you a sandwich?”  Honestly, all of this tangible love in the form of food has left me feeling like a queen, and I could really get used to life like this.  Eating delicious home-cooked meals together with family, laughing, sharing–how could something so simple be so absolutely wonderful?  Seeing how I feel when in the midst of such support  I realize that I’m not eating enough in my normal daily routine.  I realize that I need to change something about my approach to meals back home, probably planning more and getting more excited about recipes or something.

Uplifted.  Another part of the warm glowy feeling–I love nature, and there are mountains, alpine forests, and gorgeous wildflower meadows not too far off.  Salt Lake City is tucked in a cozy valley with majestic mountains rising up to meet the blue sky.  I have never felt more fulfilled, more like myself, than when I am in a mountain forest smelling the earth, the rock, the pine needles.  I  hiked with my husband, kids, mother in law, and two of my brothers in law to Albion basin the other day, and spent a moment at Cecret lake.  Wind.  Sun. Earth. Mountains. Flowers.  Trees.  Heaven. How could something so simple as a walk outside touch me on such a deep level?  My soul sings when I’m in the forest.  It has always been that way.

Seen. Heard.  The number of fulfilling conversations I have had since we arrived last Monday gives me hope that I can have more experiences like this, even back home in Baltimore.  I have written a great deal this year about feeling lonely, feeling isolated, when I’m at home with my two kids and I don’t have the energy to go out in search of a friend.  Here, with family, it is so easy to just strike up a conversation and talk about Scandinavian history, or yogic philosophy, or hear funny anecdotes, and just in general enjoy having company to be around.  I have been able to share my thoughts and feelings, even when I had that rough spot where my husband took himself out golfing and I was bummed out.  When my mother in law saw my need to be heard, she stopped talking, stopped trying to help me feel better, and just listened.  Another simple little thing that ends up being monumentally important, incredibly valuable, this ability to sit with someone and listen to what they have to say.  What a gift it is to be understood.

Having fun.   Today we went to a local pool and had a blast splashing around with the kids in the shallow area, going down fast water slides, jumping off of diving platforms even thought it was scary as hell.  We had two adults for every child in our group, which meant that I was able to wander off every once in a while and enjoy a moment–however brief–of vacation.  I lay on the warm pavement when I was feeling cold, I ate an ice cream sandwich when I felt hot.  Again, the simplest of things revealing to me that I don’t need life to take a certain form to be happy.  Little treasures can reveal themselves every moment, if only I can open my eyes to them.  If only I can avoid taking these little gems for granted.

And once again I get a deep sense of what true wealth is–not mansions, designer clothes, private jets, exotic vacations–it’s being happy, feeling fulfilled with my real life as it is right now, enjoying a glass of ice water, the way the white clouds float across the azure blue sky, the sound of wind through pine needles, watching my two year old son go down the kiddie slide over and over again, squealing, laughing.

Thank you life.  Thank you for all of the gifts you have sent my way.  I feel fulfilled.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Let me not search for happiness outside myself.
It is here, now, in the sound of my heart beating,
in the fullness of my breath,
in the mind that understands how to find stillness,
the joy of knowing a loved one, 
of holding a child’s small hand .

With so much air to breathe,
how could I ever feel poor again?
With so much light,
how could I feel sad?

Let me not search for happiness outside myself.
It is here, now, in this moment, exactly where I am.