Tag Archives: Phoenix

Last Night in Arizona (For Now)

Standard

My girlfriends have left
and here I am in Phoenix,
in a nice room I found
on Airbnb (thank you!)
I leave tomorrow.
I miss my kids
and can’t wait to see them,
yet I feel anxious
about coming back
and seeing the man
who was my husband for eight years.
This grieving process makes no sense.
This heart feels healed and wounded
all at once.
I went to the desert for answers,
I shared my insights,
I meditated, laughed and cried.
My heart burst open.
I could see that everything will be fine.
But how to maintain that feeling
in a home that no longer feels like home?
I wonder how I can
integrate myself
back into my daily routine,
how I will look at him,
speak to him
knowing what I know now.
One day at a time I suppose…
it’s the only way this works
in the end.

Advertisements

In Phoenix

Standard

phoenix condo window

Phoenix, I’m here!
For one week
I left the familiar
to go on retreat,
to have an adventure.
I miss my kids already,
yet I know that this is good
for all of us.
After the heartache and tumult
of this past summer,
I longed for a different perspective,
a different experience of myself,
to be someone other than
the depressed woman
whose husband wants a divorce.
To achieve this  different perspective,
to create a different perception of myself,
a radical shift was necessary,
and here I am…
Flying 2000 miles away feels
pretty radical.
Tomorrow I’ll go to the desert in Sedona
and I’ll pray.
I practice yoga and dance.
I’ll rest.
I’ll thank God I’m here,
over and over again.
The depressed woman
didn’t follow me here.
The adventurer has taken her place,
and I can’t wait
to meet her.