Your thoughts give rise to your perception
which shapes your actions
which build your reality
which determines your experience of Life.
Look inside your mind.
What picture do your thoughts paint there?
If you do not like this picture,
paint a new one.
What you see in your mind
is ultimately your choice,
the only choice you can make really…
and it is your most basic power.
How will you wield it?
The power of changing my own narrative
empowers those around me
to change theirs as well.
It’s astounding to see
how when I step into my own potential
I get to witness others doing the same.
We are all reflections of each other
and we are all in this together.
Any work I do, large or small,
ripples out in countless directions
and has an effect on the world around me.
I take great care choosing the kind of work I do
so that I can see suffering alleviated
and joy expanding boundlessly.
I am not only the creator of my Self,
I am also the creator of my universe.
I write the story of a beautiful reality,
in which we all treat each other with kindness
and we take care of
our precious little blue dot called home.
May I keep repeating the story of joy
and witness the perfect unfolding
of this world I’ve created.
How my views of love have changed
since getting married and having kids!
Back in my twenties
I visualized passion, romance,
some amazingly mystical
soul mate connection.
Now the most romantic thing
would be a day off
to not see or speak with anyone.
Now, love is getting the dishes done
and the litter box scooped
and the laundry folded
and the dinner cooked
and the children bathed…
if we have any energy left
at the end of the day
we might watch a show together.
We turn in,
wish each other good night
and sweet dreams.
His sleeping form
and intermittent snores
are strangely reassuring.
Not so romantic,
Living on the edge of my comfort zone,
seeing how many hang-ups I still have,
wanting to embody perfection of patience,
compassion, understanding, self-restraint,
being confronted with human reality…
I feel the disappointment when I fail
and wonder if I can do better the next time.
After so many years of strengthening the habit
of reacting with anger
what can I realistically expect from myself now?
My loved ones are the most ruthless
at pointing out how far I have yet to go
and the least likely
to celebrate how far I’ve already come.
So there is the added disappointment
of wanting to be seen and heard
and not being met with the understanding
I so deeply long for.
Perhaps I can have compassion for all of us,
for the challenge of existing in an apparently
while simultaneously living in the isolation
of one’s own imagined world.
This is the plight we all must navigate
and the gift we must all unwrap
if we are ever to experience
the bliss of divine union,
the peace of life fully lived.
Who is this woman
so energetic, happy,
enjoying her connection with others?
without my story.
I suddenly let go of the lie
that things are supposed
to be a certain way
and this moment opened up,
just as it is.
It was light,
I could finally see
the beautiful faces around me,
and they were smiling too.
I like this woman without a story.
I should get to know her better.
I kept admonishing myself
for losing it with my kids.
Feeling guilty, ashamed,
a failure as a parent.
And then I realized,
it’s normal to lose it.
Because I’m human,
because sometimes I’m tired,
it just happens.
And as I began to cultivate acceptance
for my own humanness,
it occurred to me
that the goal isn’t
to never lose it with my kids.
The goal is to gradually learn
how to recognize my own insanity
as it arises
and restore myself to sanity
as best I can.
The goal is to acknowledge
the mistakes I have made
and do my best to make amends.
And so I ask for my kids’ forgiveness
when I lose it with them.
And as they forgive me
I start to see that I can forgive me too.
Working at the level of mind
can get very heady.
Being acutely aware of all thoughts,
challenging their truth,
seeing how they make me feel,
deciding which ones to share–
so much work it gets exhausting.
I sometimes wonder if there will come a time
when it gets easier,
when life seems a bit smoother
because my mind itself has smoothed out.
It takes great courage
to accept full responsibility for one’s experience.
Of course the alternative
would be living at the mercy
of everyone else’s stories.
It also takes great courage
to listen intently
especially when someone’s story
differs from your own.
I’m working on that one.
I still feel defensive, outraged,
put upon, misunderstood,
and depressed sometimes.
Could there come a time
that I know my mind so well
that it can no longer make me suffer?
I have a lot of work to do.