All of a sudden,
as if someone had lit a fire
I felt motivated to get some stuff done.
Things that I had been wanting to do
got done in a matter of minutes.
And so I wonder about procrastination.
I wonder about the time I spent
judging myself for not getting things done.
I wonder what I could’ve done with that time,
if it were used in service of something greater
May I develop the discipline to notice
when I’m caught in that old trap
and just get the freaking stuff done already!
I can make peace with myself,
really love myself,
and then I don’t have to be
an approval junkie any more.
It’s when I have rejected myself
that I look outside for some proof
that I’m okay. Will you tell me I’m okay?
And then really, what then?
You tell me I’m okay—
will I believe you?
Will I need you to keep telling me
over and over again?
And the minute you stop,
will I not be okay anymore?
In the end, freedom is
being at home with oneself.
We can invite visitors every now and again,
but they can’t give us true belonging.
The real sense of welcome
glows from the hearth of the home within.
For the longest time
I told myself the same story
that had been told to me as a child:
There is something wrong with you
that needs to be fixed.
Don’t make mistakes.
Don’t make messes.
If others don’t like you
it’s because there is
something wrong with you.
Today I decided to rewrite the story.
It goes like this:
There is nothing wrong with me.
I can make mistakes.
I can make messes.
As long as I like myself
I’ll know true belonging.
If the story you’ve been told
doesn’t bring you joy,
rewrite the story.
You might go to the ends of the earth
and still never find the answer.
You could ask the wisest teacher
and still not know who you are.
Stop all this frantic searching
outside of yourself.
The answers are within.
Get still, close your eyes,
There now, isn’t that better?
Could it be
you simply cannot see
the whole picture?
Could it be
that you are getting caught
in mental stories?
Before you fly off the handle
try to find a safe place to land.
what we most fear
is what we most deeply need
The mechanisms we use
to cover our true feelings
only serve to prolong the agony
of imagined loneliness.
Set down your burdens
for just one moment
and see how truly loved you are.
In that loving place
awaken to the connectedness
of all beings, you included.
Love is all there is.
why dost thou elude me?
Why, when I need you the most,
do you seem to be in such short supply?
that’s how it is.
While learning how to be patient with life,
you need to be patient with yourself.
Patience with Self
is a sure sign that you’re ready
to be patient with others.
I never thought it would be like this.
That’s because life doesn’t stop
to check in with my little ideas
about how things should be.
It just goes on being what it is,
regardless of my thoughts.
If I want to be happy,
I need to be aware of my thinking,
and ask some questions
when my thoughts create shadows
in place of the light.
May I have the strength to see the truth
when my thoughts have blinded me.
May I have the patience to endure
the challenges life has in store for me,
and may these challenges
make me stronger.