And who are you, really,
at the end of the day?
Are you this name
attached to this body…only?
Or is there more to you?
Are you this persona,
this collection of stories,
Are you who
they told you you were
when you were too little
to decide for yourself?
It’s not about becoming
who you are, I’ve decided…
It’s about creating
who you are in each moment
being who you are right now
at the core
of your most authentic self.
When you live from this core,
there is no need to wait
for something to happen
in order to be happy;
you are happiness itself
through your unique consciousness.
Now do you know who you are?
Wide awake in the middle of the night,
head buzzing with the latest fears, doubts and anxieties,
I decided to dive deep into the ocean of myself.
I discovered stories I had told about myself
I saw the ways that I had unconsciously trained
my husband to perpetuate the stories,
and how desperately I was seeking
love, attention and approval
even in the midst of my beliefs of unworthiness.
Wide awake in the middle of the night
I experienced a profound reckoning,
a chance, a choice to stop telling those stories
once and for all,
to witness and know and hold my goodness
in the vast space of my tender heart—
and to see the innocence in all of us.
Five hours passed as I underwent this reckoning.
The next morning I was sleep deprived
and most likely looked like a zombie…
but awakening to the truth at the core of myself
was worth it!
Fear rises up, resistance,
to represent a voice that thinks
reality is flawed and should be changed.
And then spirit gives my sanity back to me.
It says Breathe.
I take a deep breath and I can feel my fullness,
my power, my connection with this moment.
The fear drops away, the resistance melts,
and my body sits up taller.
It says I am here and all is well.
All of life, all of it, is NOW.
All of my power, my joy, my abundance,
all is unfolding now, only now.
As I look back, the stories that threaten me
are the ones that begin with “What if?”
I’m done playing that miserable game.
It’s time to wake up and since and dance
and rejoice and breathe and celebrate
and say THANK YOU, I’M ALIVE!
Don’t let them tell you you can’t.
Show them you can.
But don’t do it for them,
do it for yourself.
There is a fire in your belly.
Breathe, stoke the fire!
Let it burn more brightly.
Let it incinerate the rotten stories
they force fed you,
clear them out, make space!
It is time to tell your own stories,
written by the Self that knows
the real you.
Tell us the stories of life,
of beauty, of sensuality,
of wild fertility, of dancing,
creatively, uniquely YOU!
I will not hide.
This light shines for all to see.
I will not try to live within
the box you built for me;
it cannot contain me.
Everyday I am growing;
I am sorry you cannot keep up.
But don’t worry,
this light will still be shining
by the time
you are no longer afraid
to open your eyes
and really see.
Just when I thought
I had fallen as far as I could,
the ground opens up
and I start falling again.
Just when I thought
I felt as much joy,
peace, and fulfillment
as I humanly could,
my heart opens up
and reveals a deeper,
wider possibility for bliss.
Who I am, bouncing
from one extreme to the other
so quickly my head whirls?
I must be human.
Keep the faith.
Don’t lose hope.
Your rational mind
cannot conceive of the true
length, width, depth and breadth of you
so don’t go there
looking for answers
about who you really are.
Look for the light
shining within you,
there, in the deepest,
most sacred chamber of your Self.
When you turn in
to look at your own light
the mirrors of your soul’s eyes
magnify the light within you,
until it overflows
and radiates out
to everyone around you.
Do you want to see the world
with clear, bright, shining eyes?
Then close the eyes of your body
and open the eyes of your soul.
PS: Take a deep breath. All is well.