Your thoughts give rise to your perception
which shapes your actions
which build your reality
which determines your experience of Life.
Look inside your mind.
What picture do your thoughts paint there?
If you do not like this picture,
paint a new one.
What you see in your mind
is ultimately your choice,
the only choice you can make really…
and it is your most basic power.
How will you wield it?
Working at the level of mind
can get very heady.
Being acutely aware of all thoughts,
challenging their truth,
seeing how they make me feel,
deciding which ones to share–
so much work it gets exhausting.
I sometimes wonder if there will come a time
when it gets easier,
when life seems a bit smoother
because my mind itself has smoothed out.
It takes great courage
to accept full responsibility for one’s experience.
Of course the alternative
would be living at the mercy
of everyone else’s stories.
It also takes great courage
to listen intently
especially when someone’s story
differs from your own.
I’m working on that one.
I still feel defensive, outraged,
put upon, misunderstood,
and depressed sometimes.
Could there come a time
that I know my mind so well
that it can no longer make me suffer?
I have a lot of work to do.
As I open to a new way of seeing
the old way redoubles its efforts
to keep me where I was.
Each moment waking up from a dream
that things should be
other than what they are,
I wonder how much more I can open
my eyes, my heart, my mind, my body, my life
to this life, this life right now.
The old way is fear, resistance, arrogance;
the new way is innocence, clarity,
falling in love with not knowing,
being awe-inspired by the most simple things.
I know what I want.
I want to be the kindest, most loving
most helpful, most awake person I can be.
Now how to embrace the reality of this self
as I walk each step dreaming
of waking up from the dream?
I woke up early
to sit and do the Work today.
After a rough night in which
I brought my four year old son to our bed
and ended up dragging myself off to sleep in his,
I was up a little before 5,
ready to spend some time with my thoughts.
After my sit
I stepped outside to witness the supermoon,
a vibrant beauty hovering just above the horizon
as the sun began to show hints of its arrival.
And then coffee, a bowl of cereal,
then my journal open, pen poised,
ready for the Work.
page after page
I managed to bring myself
from resentment over loss of sleep
to gratitude for this sweet life with my little family.
There isn’t some special kind of magic in my pen–
Just the normal kind.
It’s the same kind of magic you’d find in any pen–
the magic to look back at one’s thoughts
and see how the whole universe
is our own projection,
the power to understand
how believing in our thoughts
is a choice
and the will to investigate those thoughts
is a superpower.
I realized, chuckling,
that if I were going to blame my husband
for my loss of sleep,
then I might as well
blame the moon.
And who could blame the moon?
Throughout the day
I’d catch myself in thought–
shock, disbelief, anxiety
for the future.
Then I’d wake myself up,
realize I was here in my home,
safe and warm.
I ate a lunch of grilled cheese
and tomato soup,
I sewed a flannel nightgown for my mom,
fabric printed with
I love Grandma
repeated hundreds of times.
I’d be there sewing
and the thoughts would come,
and again the shock, the disbelief,
and the anxiety…
and again I’d wake myself up
Just here now,
to be solved,
When all is said and done,
it’s better right here.
When all is said and done,
there is nothing but here.
When I argue with reality I lose,
but only 100% of the time.
When I believe my stressful thoughts,
and when I question my stressful thoughts,
I don’t suffer.
I have believed my stories for so long.
Now I choose to see the truth,
truth that is alive deep within me,
truth that has been concealed
under my insane beliefs and expectations.
Who would I be without the thought
that this moment should be other than what it is?
I would be me,
living this moment peacefully,
with enough clarity in my mind
to celebrate the gifts of life.
I choose reality.
I choose clarity.
I choose peace.
Gardening as a metaphor…
Wherever you see the word “plants”
I went out in search of some new plants today.
I came upon scores of them,
glowing like jewels, beckoning me
to gaze upon their beauty.
They were healthy, colorful,
I brought some home.
I pulled the weed plants
out of my garden,
and removed the plants
I had been trying to nurture
but which simply did not fare well
where I had placed them.
At first it pained me to pull the old plants up,
for they were still alive,
even if they were struggling
and looking scraggly.
But then I remembered,
These plants will return to the Earth Mother.
Their fate is not so bad.
And these beautiful new plants,
let me give them a chance to flourish.
Let me try again to see new growth
reach toward its potential,
its fullest expression of beauty.
My plants have a lot to teach me.
Life has a lot to teach me.