Tag Archives: understanding

The Path of Joy

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Maybe I am certifiably nuts,
but hey, I will enjoy this journey.
Otherwise
what’s the point, seriously?
Living this path of joy
you could reach the end
and say with confidence
I LIVED every day of my life!
Or
You could be terrified at the end
full of grief, regret, longing,
seeing so clearly
all that you could have done
or should have done
but chose not to do
because you didn’t see
how absolutely worthy
you were of the deepest joy.
Tell me again,
which do you choose—
The path of regret
or the path of joy?

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Soul Fire

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Still searching,
but a little more gently now,
to find the spark
within the spark
that will light
my soul on fire.
Your soul is already on fire.
Your fear thoughts dampen
your experience of it,
but the soul fire cannot be put out.
Trust you are
where you need to be.
Breathe. Relax.
But again
there’s that feeling
that something is wrong,
there is something
I should be doing,
fixing, planning,
organizing.
And then I remember,
these thoughts
will never stop.
I can befriend them,
I can accept them,
I can even love them,
but they’ll never disappear entirely…
and that’s ok.
The warmth
I extend to my
painful thoughts
will light the way back home
to the fire of my soul.

They Listen

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And then I discovered
It’s all in my mind
And the world he sees—
it’s all in his mind too.
And we have as many worlds
as we have brains
to think about them.
And where do these worlds converge?
On some courageous shore
encircling a vast ocean of intimacy
intrepid voyagers
enquire of one another.
And they listen to the answers.

Retreat Day 5: Integration

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Soon we’ll be heading back home.
How will it feel
to leave the warm Arizona desert
and return to the reality
that awaits me back home?
What do I do
when home doesn’t feel like home?
It’s cold in Maryland.
My husband and I are meeting with
the mediator next week.
I still grieve the loss of our friendship,
the loss of closeness, of trust,
of a shared future.
I want to have answers
but that’s not how this works;
I’m living my path
day by day,
moment by moment.
I want to see the whole
trajectory of my life,
but all that is ever revealed to me
is the next step forward,
just one step at a time.
So I take one step.
That’s all I can do.
My deep wish
in this moment
is that the magic I felt
while here
will be so integrated
within my Self
it will stay with me
and live in my heart
as I turn towards
what waits for resolution,
opening to what is.

More On Faith

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What would it feel like
to surrender myself completely to God?
And how would I go about
surrendering myself so completely?
My faith has alway hit a plateau,
a place where it feels blocked,
inauthentic.
Can I reach a little deeper
and trust in the great unfolding?
I can hear the critics sneer.
They talk about delusion,
laziness, resignation,
a lack of accountability,
a lack of responsibility.
But my faith is not complacency,
and I am not a bystander of my life.
When I press on and press through
my own fears,
faith is a great landscape
that I cannot comprehend
but which dazzles and compels me
to keep moving forward.
Maybe I can cultivate faith
in the part of me
that knows faith will help
bring me through this dark night.
Maybe it’s a doorway to God.
Maybe the surrender has already happened
and like a baby,
I’m just now opening my eyes,
seeing the world
for the very first time.

Live Something Deeper

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I search for meaning
and I come up with something
that feels right.
If I’m awake,
I don’t expect anyone else
to agree with the meaning I’ve made.
If I’m asleep,
I become defensive
when others disagree,
and disagree they will…
Because everyone, everywhere
is always making their own meaning.
This is what we are, essentially:
beings making meaning.
But take note:
Beyond the meaning we have made,
there is this divine moment,
existing free of labels,
independent of our judgments,
utterly untarnished by our analyses.
The wisest among us
are able to stay with the moment
and maybe steer us back
when we get caught up
in the meaning we have made.
God bless those who know how to live
in this divine perfect moment,
who can transcend the personal meaning
and live something deeper.